Pole vs Summertime

It's so hot. Best time to summarize your experiences about pole and summer. Preferably in a sarcastic mood. By Andi Tamás.

Yaaaaay, summer! Bring on that beach body (any body taken to the beach is a beach body, errrybody know dat) and splash about in whatever puddle you have available. I loooove me some summertime. I am a summerchild so I allow myself to bask in birthday glory pretty much all summer long. Everyone loves me, I get celebrated, the weather is nice, so nice that I get cooked in the concrete jungle where I live. Ahh, joy!

All that being said, us pole junkies cannot rest during the hot season. Heat as we know, is not a friend to pole dancers. Summer is hot (well, here and I guess in many other places in the world but I can only speak for Hungary), and heat means you sweat (if you're healthy... if not, go see a doctor) and sweat means slipping. If you don't believe me, ask the Snoop. And what is it that pole dancers want to avoid at all costs? That's right kids, slipping.

Oh, I forgot to mention that this piece has no point really, only to give way to my venting and maybe to make you feel less shitty about your summer performance. In case you are still brilliant on the pole when its a bazillion degrees... then fuck off of the internet and go practice.

A few weeks ago, we had unbearable heat but I still decided to be a good girl and practice at home. Needless to say, my failure to stay on the pole was spectacular. So I resolved to practice some floorwork. Surprise, Babycakes! You stick to the floor. Like, really stick to the floor. Your skin is like it's screaming "I won't let gooooooooooooo!". Seriously?

Your best bet is an air conditioned studio or in case you don't have that, copious amounts of grip. Reapplied a hundred times.

Now - to show you I'm not all negative and bitchy - the good part. Street pole! Our salvation! Our messiah! Our dream! There is always some kind of pole or bar or playground thingy you can climb onto and do some level of narcissistic showing of the self. The peeps will love it. Well, the opposite-sexed peeps. A lot of peeps will look at you like you're crazy and the little ones will likely cry cause you hijacked their climbing frame. But who cares? More pole dancers onto the streets! And festivals and playgrounds and anywhere.

So, ladies, gentlemen and children... if all the sweating, slipping and disappointment get to you, take it outside and find something to climb. It may not be as impressive as the real thing but it's the next best thing. And it's outdoors, in the sun.

But whatever you do, put your phone down and go eat some ice cream. Now!

Yours with love and a potty mouth,
Andi

Author: Andrea Tamás